5 Steps to Overcoming Grief, “A Crater of the Soul”

“Grief is like a bomb that blasts a huge crater in your soul.” – Tara Davidson.There is no right or wrong way to deal with the loss of a loved one. You can expect it’s different for every single person.

Grief has the ability to weigh you down spiritually, emotionally, and physically. It can leave you with the sense of:

• Lost
• Empty
• Incomplete
• Uncertain
• Lacking direction
• Confused
• Numb

Grief Spiritually

When we lose someone we love dearly they form part of our being and in a spiritual sense ‘complete us’ or in other words form part of our core being.

So when that person passes we are left with a hole in our ‘spirit’ or other words, our ‘core being’ which is where grief lies.

The loss of a loved one directly impacts who we are at a deep level and their passing leaves a hole, of varying depths, in our core being.

Thus leaving a feeling of being incomplete and a state of emptiness.

Grief is associated with loss. This loss could be the death of the loved one, or the sense of loss that forms part of our identity in some way.

Grief is a hole that is left in our ‘core being’ from experiencing a deep sense of loss.

So the grief we feel is the fact that life as it ‘was’ is no longer the same and will truthfully, never be the same.

So the process of grieving is the time it takes us to fill this hole in our spirit and the journey to find a new way of ‘being’.

The timeframe for this to occur varies for each of us. We need to be patient and kind to ourselves and practice self love.

We can ask ourselves questions such as:

• What can I learn about myself from this experience?
• How can I honour the loss and make it a valuable part of my life?
• What lesson or gift is there for me to see?

Grief Emotionally

We need to allow the emotions to come up and investigate what they are trying to tell us.

Many times the emotions that come up on a minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day, month-by-month basis are asking us to take notice, to acknowledge, and to take action of some sort — whether it is an act of forgiveness, expression of love, releasing of guilt, reaching out to someone, or creating a change in our life to find peace. The emotions that come up from grief are powerful as they are messages from your ‘core being’.

So take notice, listen, and take action.

As mentioned, the loss of a loved one affects our identity. We lose a sense of who we are, as who we were before the loss leaves us not being the same as we were.

No wonder why we feel confused, empty, incomplete, uncertain, lacking direction, and full of emotions.

Grief Physically

The grieving process also takes its toll on our physical bodies. Grief can show up as aches and pains, chronic sickness as well as digestive issues, headaches, and a lack of physical energy making our normal day-to-day routines difficult to fulfill. Body language is a powerful tool to ascertain and bring awareness to how to move toward healing.

Grief Mentally

Grief also has the ability to affect our mental state of mind. It can lead us to ask many unresolvable questions as to ‘why’. Mental instability is normal when experiencing grief, which is why it is important to talk with someone you trust — whether it be a family member, friend, or in some cases, a professional grief counselor or psychologist — as the conscious mind may not be able to process the loss and may need guidance and support.

Grief affects us physically, mentally, and spiritually.

The challenge we have is that no one can plan for how they will respond to grief, how grief will present itself, or how we will process it.

• How we respond to it is tied to our emotional state.
• How grief will present itself is attached to our physical reaction.
• How we process the loss is connected to our core being.

Grief is different for every person and is directly related to the depth of love one has — that will determine the loss one feels and the duration of the grieving process.

5 Steps to Better Understand Your Grief

1. Be kind to yourself. The deeper the love connected to the loss, the greater the impact grief has on your ‘spiritual being’.
2. Be aware of your emotional state. How are you responding to life after the loss? Seek support from loved ones or professionals.
3. Take notice of what your body is telling you. Your physical reaction to the loss is important and allows you to honor and listen to what you need to do — more sleep, get out in nature, exercise, see a doctor, or try natural remedies.
4. Process the loss. It is important to identify the depth of the loss and the hole that is left in your being as a result. Take action to begin to fill this hole with love as it relates to you and your relationship with the one you are grieving for.
5. It’s okay not to be okay. It will take time to fill the hole in your core being. Allow yourself to ride the rollercoaster of emotions, do things that make you happy, and surround yourself with those you value and love. Take time for yourself — self-love and self-care are critical in the journey of grief.