TO FIND YOUR WAY: BE STILL
In our fast paced, busy world, the last thing we may feel we have time for is finding a few moments of quiet in each day.
When I first recommend silence as a coaching exercise to my clients, some resist the idea or, at best, try to implement it with great scepticism.
Almost invariably and without any doubt, they soon discover the benefits to be found in making the time to be still.
Over time, several important things happen in silence. Your true values begin to emerge. Your own priorities come to the forefront and take precedence over those of the day’s schedule and the world around you.
Any decision you come to in silence is based on strength and wisdom.
Practicing silence allows for clarity and order to emerge. Its cumulative effect adds up to less reliance on schedules and to-do lists and more understanding of the natural priority and order of things.
When you become comfortable with silence, you invite a natural organisation to your life that doesn’t require much effort and control. Practicing silence also increases the power of your ability to do things that will make a real difference in your day. I call this my ‘KAPOW’ list. Many of my clients have reported that as they learned to be still, they would seem to get their work done more quickly and even find themselves with extra time to get ready for the next day.
Most of the time, the things we do require only one side (right or left) of our brain. Practicing silence yields a higher output of organisation, clarity and calm because it causes the two hemispheres of our brain to work together in unison.
The alpha state that this creates allows for the broader scope of awareness and the tapping into of our full potential. In this relaxed state lies the greatest and most beautiful pool of your innate wisdom. The more we go into this state the easier it is for the brain to produce this state on its own. That is why it gets easier with practice and why it has cumulative effect.
Allow me to walk you through several ways to practice silence in this section so that you can access it with grace and ease at any time you should need to.
In order to effectively allow silence to be our natural organiser, we need to be comfortable with silence and be comfortable in it.
So often, silence makes us feel uncomfortable.
It does that, because it asks us to grow. We have to grow to accumulate what we face in that silent space. Most of us would rather have dental surgery than feel the discomfort of battling with ourselves. Silence allows the truth to be revealed. It allows you to willingly give up your illusions in favour of this truth. In silence, you will be able to hear and see the real you and the priorities that will best express you.
I have also witnessed this first hand, time and time again, noticing that people will often rush to fill a space of silence because of the level of discomfort they find there. When coaching clients, it is actually this silence where clients find what it is they need. Time and time again it has been proven to me that a vacuum of space must be created before any new thoughts can rush in to fill it. Embrace the silence, create the space and watch the magic appear.
Silence is that suspended moment when life holds its breath to allow you to catch yours.
Silence is the greatest form of intimacy.
The silences in a conversation are those places where the words stop and the souls can meet. We all long for these quiet places, we even crave them, but many of us are terrified to visit them. We keep talking. We forget to breathe. We fill our lives with endless activities to avoid touching the inner core that silence unveils.
You may have noticed that I haven’t used the word ‘meditation’ here. Many people find that word intimidating. People feel they must know how to meditate before trying to embrace silence as a daily practice in their life.
However, although practicing silence is meditation, there is not one set way to do it. Before I had ever been formally taught any meditative techniques, I had succeeded for years at finding ways to quiet my mind.
I am about to share with you different ways that I have found to practice silence.
And of course, I know you will already have a few of your own to add.
There is only one requirement that I have; that you do find time to be quiet every day.
Practicing silence daily is necessary if you’re going to learn to cultivate awareness and a higher state of mind that it can provide. How you choose to practice silence is up to you, as long as you achieve the goal of quiet contemplation, probably the one principle all spiritual and religious practices hold in common.
I often get asked how I maintain my energy levels and energetic approach to life. Hand on heart, I know that practicing silence and mindfulness has been the magic ingredient to remaining energetically vibrant.
Mastering silence can however come with its obstacles. You can expect both your mind and your body to fidget. Your mind will wander. If you are very new to the practice of sitting in silence, you may be tempted to give up immediately. Try to do as well as you can, keeping in mind that finding silence and being still does not need to be done perfectly. Soon you’ll find your mind and body adjusting more readily to times in silence.
You may want to practice thinking of silence as plugging into an energy source. Imagine recharging your battery to your mobile phone. We all know that it’s best to recharge it fully, but even if you can only charge it for a few minutes, the phone will run longer and last the distance.
Choosing the time to be silent is your first step. In the morning just after rising, and at night just before bed are often considered convenient times, because these times are already filled with daily rituals. Silence can easily become a new, valued ritual. Like an added bonus extra!
You may however, choose to be silent at some point during the day. Some people use their office; others find time for silence just before gearing up to do the biggest task of the day. If you are home with kids, it can be more challenging – however, some clients have found that inviting their children to join them allows them to avoid being distracted and models quiet time for their children. And what an awesome gift to pass down to your children.
When you find your time for your silence is your choice, but it will need to be a time that you can count on keeping with yourself. As you get used to how you feel when you’ve become silent, you’ll find you can enter that centred and grounded place almost instantly anywhere you may be, whether waiting in a queue somewhere, sitting on the train, or even while enduring an endless meeting at the office. The more you practice, the more positive influence of silence can be yours anywhere.
The most important part of focusing on silence is knowing that facing yourself in the silence will generate more and more rewards in time.
