IS IT JUST A PHASE YOU ARE GOING THROUGH?
Knowing the difference between certainty and infatuation is another subtle distinction that can help us come up with a clearer path to what we most want from our lives.
For me the word ‘infatuation’ always conjures up as intense schoolgirl crush, the kind that was unrelenting, all-encompassing, and totally intoxicating.
A feeling and a stream of consciousness that consumes the days and nights, until you’re unaware of anything else. What’s wrong with that I hear you asking?
Nothing, I suppose – except it’s just a big old waste of time and something you’ll write off in the name of experience.
Certainty, on the other hand, is something you can take action on.
It dictates direction.
Although certainty is not completely concrete, it’s better than indecision.
Let’s stick to romantic relationships here for a moment, since I started talking about schoolgirl crushes. When you are infatuated with someone, your family and friends never seem to be wholeheartedly accepting of the relationship.
However, if you are certain you’ve found the love of your life, even when others aren’t as sure of your choice, they generally leave you to your own devices.
It doesn’t mean they don’t care enough to intercede, but rather that people feel awe at wisdom. Even if your family and friends can’t see what you see in your beloved, they respect that there is something you know that they don’t.
They are willing to respect your certainty, even if they would have seen through you if you’d merely been infatuated. It’s easy for caring, objective bystanders to see through infatuation. It bothers them. Infatuation suggests an absence of sound judgement and people react to the insanity of this.
What does this all mean for your life’s blueprint?
It’s important for you to learn to feel the difference between infatuation and certainty.
If you are considering a new career opportunity in another city in a new state, ask yourself if it is the right job for you or whether you are infatuated with the idea of moving to a new city and starting again.
If you are thinking of starting your own business, ask yourself whether it is because you know with certainty that you want to be your own boss, with all the responsibility for the success or failure of the business, or if you are just in love with the idea of being able to say to people that you work for yourself.
Wow, so there you go, we’ve managed to look at some of these subtleties, but now that you’ve learned to distinguish between them, some themes as you would have seen are starting to emerge.
Most of the less desirable feelings are based in fear or a perception of something missing.
The fear could be a fear of consequences or a fear of not having or being enough.
There will usually be an external measurement at the root of the fear and it will probably be emotionally ‘noisy’. There would probably be a noticeable absence of peace, grace and ease, the signs that you’ve connected with your own wisdom.
A wisdom-based decision will never be dictated by fear.
You may have to overcome fear (which we talked about in Section 3) , but the truth about what direction to take will always be rooted in courage, love, integrity, and goodness.
The big questions will be:
Are you worth it?
Will you give it to yourself?
Will you do what you know is right for you?
Download this lessons activity in the next video and spend some time writing and acknowledging you subtleties.
