A growing number of parents are seeking outside help to encourage adult children to leave home and end self-entitlement that’s ruining families.
“Children need to be out of the family home by the age of twenty but few parents set a date for their kids to vacate the premises, leading to major problems down the track,” warns Life Skills Coach Michele Jones.
“A recent Household, Income and Labour Dynamics survey of 17,000 Australians found those who left home after the age of 25 earned $6000 less than those who fled the nest earlier,” said Ms Jones.
“Wealth is also impacted, with figures estimating men end up $20,779 worse off and women $95,676 leading to further welfare benefit blowouts by 2020,” she said.
“Parents convince themselves the child staying at home longer will help them save for the purchase of their own home, some even going as far as building a granny flat to accommodate their child, keeping them safe and tending to their every need.”
“In reality parents are simply sending the message to their child that they are not resourceful or capable to live out in the world on their own and they won’t be successful enough to afford a house without their help.”
“Nearly one in four people aged between 20 and 34 continue to live in the parental home – in Sydney and Melbourne this figure is higher at 27 percent.”
“General costs of living, university fees, safety concerns and society based fears are among other excuses enabling children to stay housed and well fed by their parents.”
“Children need to learn to live life instead of always having mum and dad hand it to them on a plate which is why parents need to mark on the calendar their own Independence Day.”
“Independence Day might be a declaration of independence in the U-S but Australian parents need to declare their own Independence Day – a date which their child knows they’ll be expected to vacate the family home and live their life independently and it should be by the time the child turns 20.”
“It is highly recommended children are set free to go out and rent a room, have flatmates, learn to pick up after themselves, budget, cook, and basically live life.”
“Young adults are missing out on friend based learning, a sense of building their own community, understanding their value and are deprived of real life experiences of where they have been successful on their own.
“It is never too late for a parent to seek help to encourage their young adult child to step into their own power with clarity to move out of home and live life confidently.”
Ms Jones said there is a number of ways parents can empower their child and provide a platform for them to successfully transition to leave the family home by the age of 20 –
Introductory of Basic Life Skills : Hands on activities around how to budget, clean, put fuel in the car, cook and develop a routine that works for them. For example, when to sleep, study, work, pay bills, play, exercise, eat.
Social skills : Face to face interactions with peers and groups. Life lessons through friend based learning. Giving space for children to make decisions, face challenges and gain clarity of their limits. Building strength to tackle peer pressure and gain a realistic perception of what life is, outside of social media platforms where life seems ‘perfect’ for everybody except them.
Communication : Engage in conversation, confidently be able to communicate their likes, dislikes and their views on worldly topics, assist with uncovering and bringing to the surface their value systems and perceptions of life and the world.
Self Love : Highlighting uniqueness, gifts and interests, purpose driven focus, establishing daily rituals, personal values and belief systems that support, encourage and nurture their independence.
“I remember when girls collected items for their glory box they would need once they moved out of home but that has gone by the wayside, maybe it’s time to bring it back.”
Any parents and young adults needing advice about moving out of home can contact Michele Jones at Live Your Best Life at https://www.lybl.com.au