MEMORY THROWBACK TO THE 5th MARCH 🙂
6 WEEKS RECOVERY I WAS TOLD…..
6 months on…..and my healing journey continues and I am now told that for our bodies to completely physically heal from surgery such as mine it is more like 12 months before the body finds it’s sense of balance and centre again……hhhhmmmm……makes me wonder if the medical profession need to work on their marketing strategy? LOL
In saying that, so many wonderful things have occurred as a result of my radical hysterectomy….my anaemia & red blood cells have now returned to normal.
My lungs have healed.
I have found a deeper sense of peace, purpose & certainty inside me that is on some days linked to this most incredible source of energy, clarity & focus.
However, I have since discovered that endometriosis can live outside of your uterus…..and I have it in my abdomen, pelvis & stomach.
The pain can be unbearable at times.
The pain I believed would be released from my body continues.
An undiagnosed bacterial infection also doesn’t help with intense burning deep into your bones, hips, abdomen & pelvis….now I am aware that’s what it is I can do something about it…instead of thinking I am going crazy!
Surgical menopause has been an interesting & intense journey to say the least.
It has also been empowering 🙂
A great reminder to use your common sense & listen to your own innate wisdom….if you are not metabolising oestrogen properly in the first place then it is probably not a good idea to go loading your body with it.
Oestrogen based HRT certainly gave my endometriosis something to feed on, making itself known in big way as it ate itself stupid….like in a food frenzy….having a field day!
And my liver and spleen hasn’t liked me for it….in fact they have even attempted to shut down as they attempt to metabolise & detoxify something that they aren’t that efficient at doing.
The pain in my right hand side has worsened since surgery & a recent MRI has confirmed slipped & bulging discs with a protrusion and bone degeneration that is linked to so much physical pain that at times it is a challenge simply to get out of bed.
Yet, I do and still can.
They don’t tell you that when planning your surgery…yet everything that we do that disrupts the design of our bodies I suppose will always carry its own risks and for me these decisions have been made with the overarching purpose of quality of life.
I have remained vigilant to the mission of great health…..massages, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, clean eating, crania sacral release therapy, myofascial release therapy, meditation, yoga, movement, mindset & positive visualisation techniques, alkaline water, supplementation….you name it….I’m doing it in every effort to remain empowered.
However, the one thing that stands out more than anything for me throughout this entire process & journey is that all of it has been necessary to reconnect back to the core essence of who I am…..my truth….the parts of my life that have required forgiveness and the other parts that allow me to find out who I truly am & all that I am capable of.
I have learned to express anger in ways like never before, making me realise that so much anger has been stored in my body as a result of the years of sexual abuse, surgery, miscarriages and all that has been known as my story.
Releasing and connecting with the expression of anger has been good for me to embrace it and let it go.
And just as the colours of LYBL are black & white, I am reminded that all of life has it struggles & challenges, the duality of contrast is necessary for life to be in balance.
Light with dark…..sad with happy….good with bad….etc
Life is not about having none of those things…..it is about learning what they are teaching us about ourselves…..all of these ingredients contribute to the makings of our best lives….and in the process we learn that there is always more to us than we originally think there is…..they are required to bring our life back into some order & sense of balance.
I am constantly reminded that everything will always come down to the meanings we give them and the beliefs we form along the way.
- I choose to make the choices that resonate with me & move me forward and on the days where they tell me to just be….I am learning to also listen.
- I choose to be grateful despite the pain on some days being unbearable.
- I am alive & my best life is a reality.
- I am doing the very best with what I have….
- I am grateful for this challenge……it allows me to continue to deepen my learnings & has heightened my ability to look into the heart & soul of not only who I am, but also to that of others & say…..
I TRULY SEE YOU……
I HEAR YOU…..
I KNOW YOU…..
I FEEL YOU…
I LOVE YOU <3
Everything no matter where you are at….will always be OKAY <3